Dreams and Echoes

I dream of the Bahro at night. I can't understand them there either...but I dream that I am walking in the ages, and they are there. I try to say things to them, but nothing comes out. Sometimes, Yeesha is there too, but she's always far away, looking for something that I can't see. I know I can't help her, for all that I want to in the dream, to earn some part of her wisdom.

Better to have much wisdom...

I never seem to remember to try to dance. I want to sing, but the words aren't there. And anyway, I only know how to sing one song in D'ni.

And now Phil Henderson and Dr. Watson are back, and Watson at least speaks of Releeshan and Yeesha and his journey. I envy him that. Part of me wants to do what he did - to throw away everything and go questing for the storyteller that is me. And then there is the part of me that thinks of hearth and home and knows just how hurt all the people I love would be if I went like that.

There were rather a lot of explorers who felt hurt when Dr. Watson left, to say nothing of the DRC, I imagine.

There doesn't seem to be a good answer to this one. And in the mean time, the miscommunication and the frustration all go around and around and around and the Bahro who were hurt strike at those who are convenient targets. When you are a part of a society, you seem to become responsible for that society's actions, even if you didn't have any part in chosing them. But if you are not part of a community, then you are alone, and limited only to your own resources, and there is no one to mourn you when you vanish off into the wilderness.

I don't think I want to vanish anytime soon. Or if I do, I don't want to do it forever.